I have one extremely amazing, but equally extremely challenging 4-year-old. It’s been like that since about 2.4 . She was such an easy baby, luring me into a false sense of security about having another.. which transpired into this time being a major operation, colicky nightmare in which I had to deal with the once angelic homebirth baby, who was sleeping though at 6 months but now was a not so charming two-year-old..but so far the colicky baby boy is being a quite an easy two-year-old in comparison… But I am not heavily pregnant and it’s not boiling hot and a new experience to me so WHO KNOWS!
Anyway while I was going out of my mind trying to deal with the challenging behaviour I learnt something that REALLY helped us.
STOP GIVING SO MANY CHOICES
Wow in this ‘choice based ‘ society that sounds pretty radical.. but actually for some young children( and, of course, I can only speak for my own) it is a better option.
I know when I was pregnant dealing with professionals (ie midwives) I HATED having so many choices. I just wanted someone to tell me what to do. YOUR THE EXPERTS!
I first cottoned on to this when out for lunch with my sister in law who just told their cousin what she was having for lunch. The was a revelation for me.. but it caused NO fuss. Where, I would naturally give a 4-year-old options about selecting what they want to eat. Do they really know that? I am not sure mine does.
Lyla’s teacher at school (who is super amazing ) offered the same tactic when dealing with the issue of ‘ Can you put your shoes/jacket/clothes on’. Instead of asking. Just tell them what’s happening. ‘ We are putting our shoes on now ‘ if there is a WHY? Because that what we do. no more questions.. that is the answer.
It has been a bit of revolutionary parenting advice for me so I thought I would share with anyone who might be having a tough time with a kid that likes to not conform!