MARATHON TRAINING AND POSSIBLE INCONTINENCE

 

I’m going to run 13 miles in March for the Bath Half Marathon.. which I am quite confident I will be able to complete, but one little thing no one warns you about when training for a race…

One sunny Sunday morning I decided to run 8 miles along a section of the local cycle path ..LOVING IT.  Peace and quiet, absorbed in my own thoughts and the beautiful countryside…

AND THEN

ABOUT 6km (4 miles) I started to think. “hmm il check my phone how long have I got left.. ok fine, I’m still rolling”

THEN ABOUT 8km (5 miles) “oooh this is getting a bit boring now..”

THEN ABOUT 10 km (6 miles ) “this is really boring now”

THEN ABOUT 11km… “AHHH what’s going on I suddenly REALLY need the toilet. ”

THEN 12km (By this time its no ‘about’ regarding the distance as I am checking my phone all the time.)

“What shall I do. A poo in the bush? What if someone comes along on their bike? I’ve never done a thing like that before. what would I use? A LEAF? I can’t see any large leaves around.. only stingers. OWCH!”

12.5km “Slowing down seems to be better BUT MUST NOT WALK! I have run this far I am not flipping WALKING now!”

13km (8 miles) “THE END! Hooray! I can walk (no longer run/waddle like John Wayne) and don’t feel like I am going to shit my pants any longer!”

I spend the next 10 minutes reflecting on this walking to where my husband and children are picking me up.

He says “Alright love?” I say “yeah great smashed it in apart from the end bit when I thought I was gonna crap my pants.” He says “Your lips are a bit blue.'”

I am thinking Immodium or nappies, I think Immodium might be better for self-esteem.

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